G.Y.T

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Get Yourself Tested. I hear this on the radio every single morning and afternoon during my rage provoking commute. I believe it’s geared towards HIV/AIDS and while that is the most dangerous, I’d rather not have any STD. Call me crazy, but whether it’s curable or not is of no relevance to me - I don’t want it. No thank you, you can keep that, that’s yours. Hearing it daily makes me wonder why people don’t get tested. What’s so hard about it? Is it laziness, shame, fear, unavailability, inaccessibility, or plain ignorance? Spreading intentionally is against the law, but spreading without a clue isn’t any better.

Before even getting to the part where we should get tested, there’s a crucial step that seems to be missing. A step that many seem to ignore. The step is called using your brain. Certainly you can’t tell who has what just by looking at a person. And certainly there are far too many unsuspecting victims who catch something from their one-and-only lover of many years. However, there are plenty of others who are simply reckless. Let’s face it, it’s not rocket science. No calculus 3 formula required to tell if someone is probably a non-profit prostitute (that’s polite for hoe and man-whore). Unprotected sex with a perfect stranger or someone you KNOW gets around. Why for? Because it feels better raw? No shit it feels better raw, what are you 12-years-old?

Question. Did no one else take some type of adult living class in high school? At age 15 I knew to say no to crack any random chick who wanted to get on my spaceship without using a spacesuit. Why do grown ups not know this? Shit, for me those classes were like the Scared Straight of sex. My 3 biggest fears in life are burning to death, touching a possum, and getting rust on my tool from improper care - if you know what I mean.

Be smart. Bust a nut. Get Tested. Be merry.